If I ever drift off into the dreamy world of delicate women and think that because I married an Englishman my world is full of chintz, bone china and blueberry studded scones filled with jam and cream, I am jolted rather quick into reality, like a monkey in a test rocket who suddenly goes into orbit. What do I mean? Oh, there’s very little in the way of rhinestones and mascara in our home; we are a very football dominant family, with three of our four eldest kids being defensive linemen. I experience reminders of that daily, such as when one son last weekend smacked my tail like I was on his football team while we were on the front row, as church began. I never felt more apart of the team. Lol.

Now, I definitely joke in broad generalizations; it could even be said that I am the Cliche Queen. But, while there are all different men out there, from bearded hipsters, live- eat- breathe footballers to men who take Facebook selfies with their pet chinchillas perched wide eyed on their shoulder (Yes, yes, I actually saw this), I don’t know a single woman who would smack a woman’s butt to let her know she did well. Men and women are SO different.

Another time the strong male presence was apparent was when my boys broke into peels of pubescent laughter after mooning me a few days ago. So very white. That’s all I can say about that. Yeah, it’s all locker room around here. I mostly love it but every now and then I have been known to go into Mama-rant-mode, “Get these cheesy socks picked up ASAP and if you put me in headlock one more time, you’re giving me 10 laps around the pasture!” I have also been known to wail, “I am a giiiiiiiiiirl,” my words flying on the wind, as I’m being carried across the room and tackled on to the couch. I try to ignore their amused smiles, as if they are being chewed out by a high pitched, cartoon flea.

So, in this world of sweat, spit and any other gastro intestinal outpourings of pure love, I know that the Super Bowl table better be packed with food with a high meat content. I’ve included some healthier ideas below. Vibrant Life followers need to keep sauces to an absolute bare minimum (I don’t eat ketchup), avoid the cheese, wrap their burgers in two slices of iceberg lettuce instead (bun-like), steer clear of the chips, bacon & ham and use 93% lean ground beef. 

Burger Bar

Toppings to lay out. 

Sauces-

There are four different sauces sold by Hak’s (King Soopers) that are lower in sugar and gluten free; I’ve used the Thai Chili Tamarind, Chipotle Bourbon and the Pineapple Habanero. Ketchup (natural, low sugar and gluten free), mayonnaise (You can find a safflower oil based one by Hollywood). A low sugar blackberry or dark jam. Southwest Chipotle salad dressing by Hidden Valley (This isn’t amazing health wise but the only chipotle type dressing I could find. I plan on making a homemade one soon). Homemade, no sugar salsa.

Toppings-

Onions and peppers fried in a tiny amount of grape seed oil (this oil doesn’t have a flavor)

Mushrooms fried in a small amount of grape seed oil

Tray of iceberg lettuce leaves

Fat slices of large tomatoes

Whole eggs cooked sunny side up (I ask how many want this and cook it just in time to be put on the burgers)

Cooked bacon and/ or Black Forest sandwich meat ham from Costco (gluten free and high quality) fried up.

Cheddar cheese and feta slices (I would even recommend doing three different cheeses of your choice)

Boulder potato chips (or another healthier brand that is gluten free and doesn’t contain preservatives or unnecessary added ingredients)

Avocados

Cooked black beans

Leftover petite diced cabbage and chicken tenders fried in a small amount of grape seed oil (See the Thai Wraps below)

Funky Burger Ideas

My children weren’t fans of the Greek Mushroom Burger because of the Feta (no surprise there); the adults didn’t love the crunched chips inside the burger but the kids loved that.  

Bangkok Burger- Thai Chili Tamarind by Hak’s (King Soopers), fried onions & peppers, tomato, iceberg lettuce and leftover chicken and cabbage stir fry (from the rice wraps below).

Morning on the Ranch Burger-

Iceberg lettuce, tomato, whole egg sunny side up, low sugar blackberry jam and bacon.

Guadalajara Burger-

Lettuce, tomato, cooked black beans, cheddar cheese, avocados, salsa or chipotle salad dressing (Southwest Chipotle from Hidden Valley).

American Classic-

Lettuce, tomato, cheddar cheese, bacon and a basic potato chip crunched on top of the burger right before eating.

Greek Mushroom Cheese Burger-

Fried onions & peppers, fried mushrooms and feta melted on the burger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot Wing Style Chicken Breast

Chicken breasts cooked under parchment in the oven for an hour (add a no sugar, gluten free hot wing sauce the last 20 minutes), sliced in large strips and paired with large slices of pineapple, stuck through with a toothpick. This sauce is fine for Vibrant Life Followers (although the sodium is a treat). My husband is having great fun, teasing me about how the chicken below looks raw; however, I can confirm it absolutely was not and these were devoured by that very same jokester. LOL.

 

 

 

Thai Wraps

Fry up chicken tenders in a little grape seed oil, chopping while you cook until it is finely minced. Once the chicken is almost done, add petite diced green cabbage and cook until done. When done, add a few tablespoons of Thai Tamarind sauce by Hak’s (I made a tray of five, good sized chicken breasts and I added 3-4 tablespoons, just enough to give some flavor). Soak rice wraps in water for a couple minutes until pliable. Fill the wraps with the chicken mixture, thin, long sliced cucumbers, avocados, green onions and sweet peppers, finely chopped basil or mint and tightly wrap into a log. Half my family loved the rice wraps and the other half didn’t. Alternatively, iceberg lettuce leaves could be used in the same way instead. And, if desired, a mint or peanut sauce could be used (we didn’t).

Side Ideas

Baked Sweet Potato Fries (best choice for Vibrant Life Followers)-

Thinly slice sweet potatoes into long wedges (I love the skin but many don’t, your choice on peeling). Fill a baking tray. Lightly douse in grape seed oil. Season with onion powder or flakes, a small amount of garlic, pepper and salt to taste. Toss and bake uncovered at 410 degrees for about 45 minutes. They taste better when they are the top item baking in an oven, so they become crisp (and golden when you use the regular potatoes).

Baked Regular Potato Fries-

Same as above but using any type of regular, white potato.

Chips (gluten free without preservatives) and homemade salsa

Veggie platter with dip. Find one from Pinterest in a football stadium shape and make a healthier dip from greek yoghurt mixed with any of the flavors from Simply Organic dip mixes (from Vitamin Cottage).

A happy and healthy Super Bowl to you! Go Broncos! 🙂